Managing Menopause: Racquel's Journey

Patient InsiderHi,I’m Racquel.Honestly?Menopause is an evolution.

Menopause came on strong

It started at 42, fairly young, after my hysterectomy. I’m 56 now and still sweating through it. I feel like every year in my 50s, something is changing. It's not even just the physical – it's the mental change, too.

It’s like a grieving process – a loss of womanhood, so to speak. At least that’s how it is for me. Knowing I won’t have more kids of my own feels like another loss. It can be hard to see yourself aging. So I understand why it’s tough to talk about, but hey, this is life, right? And we have to talk about it.

We shield people from what we’re going through.

Ever touch a hot stove?

That’s what a hot flash feels like to me. It’s like putting your toe in a fire. The heat comes up your legs – through your body – until sweat explodes out your face and falls down like rain.

If that’s not enough, my body's like, "Hey, lady, take this with you while you go to bed." Night sweats mean soaking wet sheets, getting up to change my nightgown, two hours of sleep. And the mood swings? They come out of nowhere – and for no reason. Like, why are you chewing so loud?! It can all make you feel so powerless.

You have to relearn your body. I’ve found ways to cope, like carrying a small, battery-operated fan with me everywhere. I take cool showers at night to help with night sweats. When I was an athlete years ago, I learned how my breath is connected to my body, so I use breathwork when the heat gets really bad.

Sometimes I think people forget that I'm dealing with some stuff. I remind them, “Look buddy, give a sister a break. I’ve got steam rising from my toes to my neck!” I have to explain that they knew the “young me” but this is the “old me” – and she’s tired. I can’t be the strong one all the time. Some days I have to take off the cape.

You have to say these kinds of things to show your vulnerability – or people could misunderstand you and what you’re going through. We can’t fear these conversations, especially with our doctors. If I’m not comfortable, I bring someone with me to my appointment. I journal everything that’s going on in my body. Every change, every symptom.

Learning about our body is a blessing, not a chore.

Self-acceptance is key

These symptoms mean we’re aging, and that can be scary. I think, wow – I'm now the age I used to call "old." We blame ourselves for our changing bodies. You’ve got to talk yourself out of that because if you don’t let it go, you can’t accept yourself.

I find that coming to terms with aging is like forgiving myself. I had to get it into my head – the person I was is gone. I'm evolving into a more mature person who doesn't focus on how I look or what someone thinks of me. She won’t be bothered with the nonsense and would rather sit in peace. I know now what I really want – just to be happy beyond it all.

My Reading List

We don’t have to wear our cape all the time. Here’s help if you need it.

Oh, and follow more of my story.