Forgiving My Limitations as an Online Health Advocate

By Teresa Alabata

2 min read

This blog is inspired by a forum question by fellow SHN writer, Raquel Dozier, on the topic of forgiveness and forgiving ourselves as advocates. It got me thinking about the role and importance of forgiveness and my journey as an eczema online health advocate. I think one of the biggest things that I have been hard on myself about along my health advocacy journey has been about not reaching more people through my social media and online content.

Survivor's guilt

There is a level of survivor’s guilt as an eczema warrior (and perhaps the same goes for other chronic illness warriors) when you hear about people going through similar experiences as you. For example, there are some people who give up and take their lives, because it is too painful to continue living in their current condition with their illness. And a part of me wishes that I could have reached out to them sooner or known of them sooner. I sometimes get in my head about it and think that maybe I could have been the one to get through to them and help them live another day.

Of course I'm so grateful that the chronic illness communities online are so strong and active now with social media. And that so many people can reach so many more people out in the world in different ways that I never could. Whenever I hear about another eczema warrior who has given up the fight, there's always a part of me that wonders if I had made contact with them or them being aware of my online content could have been something that could have helped them keep going.

Sometimes in these moments I wish I was a more popular content creator

But the truth is that I am an introvert and I honestly am quite comfortable with my small yet loyal following online. I've had to forgive myself for just being who I am. I have had to comfort myself with the fact that there are still people who have found me at all. I figure, the ones who will benefit from my content and my delivery style the most will be the ones that find me. And that is a good enough contribution to suicide prevention for my eczema community. Also, the people that I reach are the people that only I could reach in the way that I do. And that matters.

Forgiving myself

Being the workaholic that I can be, I've also had to forgive myself for having limits when it comes to my time and energy for online advocacy work. Of course, we all have lives of our own, day jobs, and other things that we prioritize in our lives as individuals. Sometimes I forget that it is okay to not always be consistent with my online advocacy work since it is technically an additional voluntary role that I take on on top of my regular work and life as a human being.

What have you had to come to terms with and find forgiveness within yourself when it comes to your advocacy? Can you relate to any of the above? Or have something else to add? Please share your experiences and insights in the comments down below!

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MichelleMarie Member
<inline-mention username="CommunityMemberccee5d" user-id="9781557"/> I can relate to what you shared. I one-on-one interactions in person too. I have become more intentional lately about sharing what I can with the people I come in contact with and the people I already know. I find my impact reaching further as these people share with people they know. Then I strive to use the social media and other online technology like my blog as tools to keep the communication going and share more.
1. DonnaFA Community Admin
 <inline-mention username="MichelleMarie" user-id="8748987"/>, this invoked the image of ripples spreading on the surface of the pond, until edges are touched. I know that if I encounter someone with a compelling story, I do carry it home and share. My boys are neurodiverse, and we talk about how empathy can positively impact someone with those experiences. Thanks for sharing so openly. - Warmly, Donna (Team Member)
MichelleMarie Member
<inline-mention username="Teresa Alabata" user-id="8751689"/>, thank you for writing this article. Your words validate what many other advocates feel. I have a constant desire to share what I have learned to help others with allergies, anxiety, and autoimmune conditions. Sometimes life situations and flare-ups of my chronic illnesses keep me from doing as much as I want to on my timeline. For many years, I attempted to reach lots of people. But recently, I have become more focused. I have realized that even though I reach a smaller group of people, my efforts are still significant. After all, my patient advocacy is above and beyond my work as a wife, mother, writer, and speaker. So, I too, forgive myself once again for having limitations. And I applaud myself and other advocates for our efforts to help others function well and make meaningful contributions despite our chronic illnesses. 
1. Teresa Alabata Member
 <inline-mention username="MichelleMarie" user-id="8748987"/> Beautifully said! Very true. I try to find the meaning and depth of my impact versus the size or the reach. The right people find the right advocates at the right time and that's what matters the most. Thank you for responding and sharing!
SeekingSerenity Member
Oh man, does this resonate with me. Survivors guilt and wishing I was a better content creator to reach more people who are struggling. 
1. Teresa Alabata Member
 <inline-mention username="SeekingSerenity" user-id="8733417"/> Thank you for the validation! At least we reach the people we do!
CommunityMemberccee5d Member
thank you so much for this! i often find myself wishing i could do more to share the valuable information i have learned as a parent and caregiver for someone with schizophrenia, especially because there is so much stigma and misinformation and relatively few of us able to share the message. but social media is extremely difficult for me, and i have had to accept that limitation and practice gratitude for the things that I am able to do while still practicing self care. One thing that has helped is shifting my focus to individuals i come into contact with, providing whatever support I can in person. I truly believe that helping one person is a more than worthy goal. Again, thank you for sharing this valuable perspective. xo
1. Teresa Alabata Member
 <inline-mention username="CommunityMemberccee5d" user-id="9781557"/> Thank you for your comment and sharing your experience with this as well! Sounds like you have a healthy mindset around this. And very true. There is definitely fulfillment in having a quality connection with one person at a time that cannot be replicated online. Keep up the amazing work!