Forgiveness
Being an advocate can be super stressful. Sometimes we blame ourselves for things we have no control over. We become our own worst critic.
Today my journal prompt had me thinking about forgiveness. Forgiving myself has been such a healer for me.
So my question for you all today is what do you need to forgive yourself for?
For me, as a caregiver, forgiveness has been a hard one.
Forgiving myself, I could have done better
Forgiving of the healthcare system that caused harm,
But I found a place deep in my grief to move forward.
I turned the healthcare harm to Quality Improvement.
In the last 5 years after the loss of my late wife, I have found my calling in working to improve healthcare.
The act of forgiveness was the catalyst, as I was falling in to the deepest pit of despair, that I wasn’t sure I would ever be able to climb out of.
Forgiveness, along with authenticity and vulnerability has been the healing journey that has moved me from the darkest days of grief, to contributing to Patient Safety locally in one of the hospitals that caused harm, in my Provincial, and National Healthcare System, to globally with the WHO.
Forgiveness is still something I work on, one of the hard things to do.this is awesome. I love how you allowed forgiveness to push you into action. I know your late wife would be proud. ~Racquel~ Team Member 
, I'm so glad that you were able to turn your pain into something positive. The forgiving yourself part is the hard part. Sending love and light. - Warmly, Donna (Team member)
With medical conditions, I don't feel we need forgiveness. To quote Maya Angelou: "Do the best you can until you know better. Then, when you know better, do better.”
Years after my kids and I were diagnosed with asthma (and my two youngest had been in the hospital 12 times for asthma), I returned to college to earn another - this time in Public Health. I went on to become nationally certified in public health and as an asthma educator.
Asthma medicines have changed in 24 years, as have treatment recommendations and recognizing severe asthma as a different type of asthma. Those with severe asthma often need an injectible biologic (which wasn't available when my kids were little.)
Now I provide asthma education to other families - and even other professions. I ensure the education I provide is evidence based and at appropriate literacy levels for those I help.
I didn't know any of this 24 years ago, and I did the best I could (even Asthma doc was stumped.) Now that I know better, I do better!
Andrea Jensen,
Certified Asthma Educator (AE-C) and Certified Health Education Specialist (CHES)Andrea M. Jensen, CHES(R), AEC sure most definitely we can only operate in the experiences that we have. I think sometimes forgiveness can be just realizing how important it is to give ourselves grace. I love how you turned to action it’s an amazing way to look at it all and do better for yourself. Thanks for that. ~Racquel~ Team Member
, you are really diving into our emotions here...but great topic! I have to forgive myself for the mistakes I made when first diagnosed with MS. I believed, as a competitive bodybuilder, that bodybuilding and just working out was the way to overcome my MS limitations. I should have known better with the 25 years I had as a trainer/educator (when diagnosed in 2006) that this was a disease of nerve damage that needed to be addressed and not just building big muscles. I woke up after a few years of doing my training all wrong and developed my current fitness program, OptimalBody, which creates the processes in the MS body needed to be stronger and more mobile. I've learned to forgive myself for my misguided thinking, but I know that I would have overcome my limitations quickly if I had thought it through from the beginning. Hindsight!! 
I love this statement “I've learned to forgive myself for my misguided thinking” this hit home for me. I think we all can definitely forgive ourselves in that area. I’m so glad you were able to get to that point of realizing that fact and have the wherewithal to do something about it. So awesome ~Racquel~ Team Member
This is a very deep topic. For me, I'd say I've had to forgive myself for not knowing better when it came to proper, effective eczema treatment for my skin as a child. And to forgive all of the adults around me including doctors who did not know how to heal me. I've come to a place of acceptance and realizing we all did our best with what we knew at the time. And either way, I found my miracle and live a normal, healthy life now.
What did you forgive yourself for?
whew that was pretty deep. Because we all have those issues of not being happy with care in all levels. You are right part of that forgiveness will bring about acceptance and accountability. Well said.
I’ve had to forgive myself for being stubborn. I felt like sheesh a former athlete I can do this my own way and not like everyone else. This has been proven to be a lesson really because I had to relinquish that control that I never really had. ~Racquel~ Team Member
